Last week, I was showered with love and fuzzy feelings as I celebrated my second Mother’s Day. Motherhood has brought me so many incredible moments but I have to admit that I am still struggling with some of the physical aftereffects of carrying Caleb.
Thanks to Whole 30, I’m below my pre-baby weight, however parts of my body just aren’t the same as before. One of the biggest insecurities had to do my how poorly my bras fit post-baby. After breastfeeding, my girls just weren’t themselves anymore.
Today is your 1st birthday. I hope and pray that this is just the first of many celebrations in your honor. This past year, you have taught me how to love, how to be patient, how to care, how to pray, and how to truly smile from my heart. You are the sweetest baby that I have ever met and I am not just saying this because you are mine. Your spirit and energy lights up any room that you are in. Your eyes remind me that God is real and so is a mother’s love.
This is my first Mother’s Day as a mom (yay) and the ninth time that I am marking this occasion without my Katy. In the days leading up to today, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my mom.
What was her first Mother’s Day like? What did my Dad get her? How did she feel?
Among all of the thoughts was this story that she often told us about Mother’s Day growing up. Every year, her church would ask people upon entry if their mother has passed or if their mother was still alive. Based on your answer, they would give you either a red carnation (alive) or a white one (deceased). My maternal grandmother passed away when my mom was young, so she would get a white flower. And, while the flower was no doubt beautiful, it made her sad. She wanted that red flower. As an adult and as our mom, that painful memory always stuck with her.
And, now, it sticks with me.
Can you imagine? Mother’s Day is filled with so many triggers for those who have lost a loved one. Her carnation story has always filled me with such sadness but that isn’t what I want to think about today. So, I decided to buy myself a bouquet of yellow flowers. That was my mother’s favorite color and one that makes me think of her fondly. When I look down at my flowers today, I will feel happy as I reflect on the good times shared and not of the years lost.
No shade to white carnations, but I don’t want to see you. Not today. Not next Mother’s Day or the ones after that.
To me, yellow blooms bring the sunshine and who doesn’t love the sun?
Hi, y’all! Things have been somewhat hectic on my end because the last ball to juggle (for now) has finally been tossed into the air.
First day at daycare!
Today is my first day back to work and Caleb’s second day at daycare. This past week, I have been completely overwhelmed with creating a new routine for us and preparing for this big week. This post about Sunday night prep from Katie at Live Half Full has been incredibly helpful. Gone are the days where I could just figure out my life each morning. No, I need to have the majority of that done WELL in advance so I can just be on auto-pilot when I wake up.
In other news… Due to the fact that I have been SO focused on my return to work, I wasn’t “planful” in getting the rest of my 13:13 series blog posts up before my self-imposed February 13th deadline. So, I am going to share the remaining content out between now and the end of the month, including a (now late) post about DIY Valentine’s Day mason jar gift ideas. HA! I’ll repurpose that one somehow. I was so excited about starting that content series that I have to see it through. After all, it is one of my February goals so I have to get it done.
Last update before I go and get Caleb dressed for the day… Red Pump launched our eighth #RocktheRedPump campaign yesterday! I can’t believe that Luvvie and I started this journey in 2009. It is incredible to see how far we have come with our particular style and message around HIV/AIDS education. For the details on the campaign, head over to this dedicated page on our website.
I’m off to get this day started… Wish me luck! I was promoted while on maternity leave so I’m just hoping that there is somewhat of a grace period to get me back up-to-speed. We shall see.