Every year, I resolve to take better care of myself when it comes to sleep, emotional care, and wellness. For the most part, I have been getting better at this. I’ve kept up with therapy appointments and meditating regularly. But, overall, I know that I’m not fully realizing this commitment to myself. No matter how many reading lists I make or self-care routines that I pin, it’s been a struggle to show up consistently for myself. Life and its related to-do lists start encroaching on the time that was supposed to be for me. Usually, I just bow my head and say to myself… Maybe next month. Or next year.
In 2023, I do not want that to be my story.
Yet for the past two months, I’ve gone off the deep end helping others and giving my time and talent to non-work projects that, in retrospect, I didn’t have the capacity for. It’s true that saying “yes” to the asks gave me chances to stretch my creativity, learn new things and meet new people. But, I wanted to help so badly that I broke promises to myself like ending each night with a calming evening routine or having slow Sundays. Fortunately, those projects are wrapped. So, I’m taking an honest reflection of how I felt these past months and what I need to change to make more time for self-care.
In the middle of my reflections, I had this “aha” moment.
Taking care of myself requires intentional effort. It requires boundaries. And, on some levels, it requires sacrifice.
A trade-up, not a trade-off
Taking better care of myself means that I will have to give some things up at times. Depending on the day, I may be trading TV time for journaling. Or only contributing a one hour to a project so I can work out and still be in bed by 10p. Or just saying with my whole chest, “I won’t be able to help/support/lead this right now.” Full stop. Getting comfortable with that last phrase is going to be the hardest. Not gonna lie.
My hard truth is that I’m going to have to sacrifice something to do what needs to be done for me. While I now know in my head that’s okay, it’s going to take a minute to accept that in my heart.
But, I’m up for the challenge because I’m getting really serious deeply caring for myself. A personal growth goal is to build boundaries around self-care activities and guard those boundaries fiercely. Shoutout to Nedra Glover Tawwab for all the great work that she’s doing around this topic. When I’m doing the things that restore my soul, I find that I am more balanced, patient, and creative.
The version of myself that I’m becoming has given me the permission to put my wellness and self-care first. And, that’s actually hella freeing.
How are you making time for self-care?
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